Goodbye

Goodbye everyone..im leaving SG soon =) will post when im back again..

LOL

hahaha..u've done all u could???

den it just show tt u're not listening to wad i've said b4..

all over and done with?? good good..this is what u say..dont regret..


hahahahaha...

My Horoscope Reading..

just bored..so copied and pasted a horoscope reading :


VIRGO - The Perfectionist
Dominant in relationships.. Conservative. Always wants the last word. Argumentative. Worries. Very smart. Dislikes noise and chaos. Eager. Hardworking. Loyal. Beautiful. Easy to talk to. Hard to please. Ha rsh. Practical and very fussy. Often shy. Pessimistic.




hmmm??? how true??

My Heart

This has always been my fav song.
This is how i feel now. or am i cold once again?

Wait And Bleed


I've felt the air rise up in me
Kneel down and clear the stone of leaves
I wander out where you can see
Inside my shell I wait and bleed

I've felt the air rise up in me
Kneel down and clear the stone of leaves
I wander out where you can see
Inside my shell I wait and bleed

GOODBYE!

I wipe it off on tile, the light is brighter this time
Everything is 3D blasphemy
My eyes are red and gold, the hair is standing straight up
This is not the way I pictured me
I CAN'T CONTROL MY SHAKES!
How the hell did I get here?
Something about this, so very wrong
I have to laugh out loud, I wish I didn't like this
Is it a dream or a memory?

I've felt the air rise up in me
Kneel down and clear the stone of leaves
I wander out where you can see
Inside my shell I wait and bleed

GET OUTA MY HEAD CUZ I DON'T NEED THIS!
Why didn't I see this?
I'm a victim--Manchurian Candidate
I-HAVE-SINNED-BY-JUST
Makin my mind up and takin your breath away

I've felt the air rise up in me
Kneel down and clear the stone of leaves
I wander out where you can see
Inside my shell I wait and bleed

I've felt the air rise up in me
Kneel down and clear the stone of leaves
I wander out where you can see
Inside my shell I wait and bleed

GOODBYE!

You haven't learned a thing
I haven't changed a thing
My flesh was in my bones
The pain is always free

You haven't learned a thing
I haven't changed a thing
The flesh was in my bones
The pain is always free

I've felt the air rise up in me
Kneel down and clear the stone of leaves
I wander out where you can see
Inside my shell I wait and bleed

I've felt the air rise up in me
Kneel down and clear the stone of leaves
I wander out where you can see
Inside my shell I wait and bleed

AND IT WAITS FOR YOU

Virgo

VIRGO - The Perfectionist (Aug 23 - Sept 22)

Dominant In relationships. Conservative. Always wants the last word. Argume ntative. Worries. Very smart. Dislikes noise and chaos. Eager. Hardworking. Loyal. Easy to talk to.Hard to please. Harsh. Practical and very fussy. Often shy.

lol ??

(Three answers most scared by men)

(Whatever)
Men: What to have for dinner?
Women: Whatever..
Men: Why not we have steamboat?
Women: Don't want la, eat steamboat later got pimples in my face
Men: Alright, why not we have Si Chuan cuisine
Women: Yesterday ate Si Chuan, today eat again?
Men: Hmm..... I suggest we have seafood
Women: Seafood no good la, later I got diarrhea
Men: Then what you suggest?
Women : Whatever..



(Anything)
Men: So what should we do now?
Women: Anything
Men: How about watching movie? Long time we didn't watch movie
Women: Watching movie no good la, waste time only
Men: How about we play bowling, do some exercises?
Women: Exercise in such hot day? You not feel tire meh?
Men: Then find a caf¨¦ and have drink
Women: Drink coffee will affect my sleep
Men: Then what you suggest?
Women: Anything

(You decide)
Men: Then we just go home lo
Women: You decide
Men: Let take bus, I will accompany you
Women: Bus is dirty and crowded. Don't want la
Men: Ok we will take Taxi
Women: Not worth it la... for such a short distance
Men: Alright, then we walk lo. Take a slow walk
Women: What to walk with empty stomach woh?
Men: Then what you suggest?
Women: You decide
Men: Let's have dinner first
Women: Whatever...
Men: Eat what?
Women: Anyting
(Look around... no one here, gonna kill her....)

Time's Up.

Let me go..i cant breathe like how i use to anymore..

LIAR LIAR!!

well well..doing nothing now..so came here to blog..wanted to post something that's happy..but things happen..and now i just wanna rant!!

u know what?? i hate liars..

LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS LIARS

DESCEND TO HELL!! WHY THE FARK IS THERE THE NEED TO LIE!!

are these reflections??

well well well..was bored..and happened to be free for a moment..been hanging out late nights..as usual..just that now of different groups and spots..

lately been hanging out at chong pang nasi lemak..guess what ??? its getting routine!!! omfg..its bad la..getting more boring each passing nights..the usual ones will be me my girlfriend pris leon archdevil and kat..as supper time is near..the thought of going chong pang nasi lemak is demoralizing nowadays..a common question asked every passing night " where to go ah?? "

lolx..how ah how ah how??

few other stuffs im troubled too..finance..not about my family cant survive..just that i wanna live on my own expenses..but is it possible?? im just a F****** NSF !!! nbccb can!! im sorry but i need to rant!! its really very annoying!! the feeling of stress is strangling me!! are these supposed to be necessary?? am i giving myself openings to unnecessary stress?? then affecting my actions and mentality?? im starting to realize that im getting impatient, hot-tempered and unreasonable recently..how??

the next big thing..my qualifications..im someone who cant sit and read..i've wasted my youth during school days..and i've regretted somehow..so what?? i cant reverse the time!! damn! what can i do after my Serving?? work during the day and study by night class?? its a common plan..but will i stick to it?? i dont have the motivation nor the determination..im still searching..

thirdly..i wonder..where is my soul?? everyday passes like nobody business..i dont go back to my station..take MCs..take leaves..take offs..just wtf am i doing?? how the f*** am i going to step into the society with this kind of mentality??

im so useless..isnt it?

moving on

its a cold morning..was doing my routines as usual..visited blogs and well..guessed everyone's moving on with life..well..its good aint it.. =) everyone's happy with their plans and life..it should be this way long ago..

guess this is it..the start of my new chapter.. =) im happy with how my life is now..except that im stuck in NS.. =.= other than that..im happy i have my friends around me..to stand by me..and the most impt of all..my family..and that includes my girlfriend..being part of it..

a new life

well well well..here i am now..back to blogging..y??simple..a new life has begun..thanks to my girlfriend..this is just a short post..reason being im tired..did some moderating at WhosGoing Forum and the usual routine for e.g checking mails and other online stuffs..

currently..a general picture of my days recently..got to know a girl..who claimed she knew me long ago..and now both of us are attached..getting along well tho..yeah..honeymoon period..whatever they name it..well..the story goes..had a great day with her on valentine..even tho we're out with a bunch of friends..had laughters..and its really memorable..

anyway..will post again and upload some photos when im free again..gotta get back to life..since she's going to have plans for the days =) if not both of us gonna look like people of age 40 when we're only 25.. =x

song boh!!! =) This is call "Friends And Laughters"

siansation

its noon time..and guess what..have not slept any minute since 11pm Sat night..and..gonna do some random rants..

same old stuffs again..i think its time for me to voice out..well..for once..she went to club..alone..and what she told me was she's v happy that she had that night..because she felt so good..so much better..so much lighter..much much more freely..

alright then..maybe i should step out of her line of sight..since my appearance is hindering her..I've said i wanna stop clubbing..or at least take a rest..she's the one who ask me don't stop..well..i doubt she'll want that decision again??i don't know..

she says without my appearance..without my company..she found her smile..

i don't know what i wanted to post anyway..just feel so bored now..

anyway..all the while..whatever i do..she feels that it cause of attention, appreciation and gratefulness from others..is that the kind of person i am??i think she don't really understand me..

well..i think after all this..lets just put it as our styles of handling matters are different..even voicing out of disagreements and stuffs..we practice different styles..eventually..we'll just argue out of everything..she claims that she's tired..i wonder if she ever notice..I'm tired too..tho i didn't say it out..but does she care??i don't know too..i don't want to think about it anyway..reason being simply i don't understand her..

yeah..she forgives and forgets..yet i still commit the same mistakes..i wonder..is it same or similar?? well..she's into petty business while I'm sensitive..i really don't know where our problems lies..why cant we be friends that are happy..my friends says..our "8 characters" dont match..is there really such shit theories?? i mean its like..i feel that its more of mentality problem..and not based on some unproven theories to make ourselves feel better..

i really hope that the friendship between me and her will change..for the better..of course..but think about it..is it possible??if i accept that we were an item..what about her??

hais..guess what..this is something she also don't like about me..I'm thinking too much..too far..those around to me to forget it..no point continue or bother about her..but I've made my choice that she's still someone I'm really concern about..someone i care..guess she doesn't want it..she feels all this are irritating..all this are just shit and craps to her..well..i think its time to stop..

well..another thing was..she deleted everything about me..and guess what..she apologised that she was harsh..but i felt nothing..don't ask me why..the feeling she's giving me is that she hates me more as the days pass..so I've decided to keep silent..yet..the reply i got was she feels that we're drifting apart..i voice out..also wrong..i keep quiet also wrong..hmm..how??

well..she feels that I'm childish..immatured..what can i say?? she had this kinda thoughts since she got back from Hong Kong..

frankly speaking..I'm beat out..what should i do??follow my friends' advices and suggestions??or i should not give up this friendship??

end of friendship

*blog ended*

she's the one who drew the line with me..so be it..she says i think im right always..i think just forget it then..everything i do is wrong..thats what it meant from the way she says it..

surprised

hihihi...another post again..well..its about Thursday night..

i promised her to go MOS..so i cancelled Leon's meet-up..sorry yeah..anyway..that night I'm quite surprised she had a few small chat with me..telling me frankly that there's change in our friendship again..but at least this time round it ain't that bad..we managed to talk it out..peacefully =)

for the first time..we didn't argue la!! lolx..

disappointed

guess what??I'm hurting..its bleeding inside me..

may

just got released this morning..yeah..i was charged for reporting late to station..

well..was held at the holding cell and since i was on appeal so I'm only needed to be held under custody..not as a detainee..

i just wanna confess that during the moments of sitting down alone in the room..so many stuffs about us flashed through my mind..as if everything was back to the start..the happy times that both of us spent together..

well i really got to admit i miss those days..and i don't mean it for what comes after that..i really miss you alot..so much that it really hurts..to think that now we've stop contacting each other..

it hurts more to know that she thinks I'm at home just because my friendster was updated..well..i just merely asked my bro to put her back into my featured friends corner..to show that i cant stop thinking about her..how much she's appreciated..how valuable she is to me..yet..i was doubted by her..

hais..
y life got to be this way?? i don't like to be maligned..none others would like to be..

line drawn

i take back my words from previous post about that being the last one.

this post is gonna be very simple and straight forward.

1. im extremely sad.
2. she starts to treat me coldly.
3. she never text "bye" to me and she just did.
4. long depression period is coming back for the 2nd time(first was after the break up with her).
5. totally lifeless now.

lolx..will she be reading this?? im so naive..

whatever..

i've decided

this is going to be the last post..

I'm done..I've decided to stop..i should have done it long ago..

Good bye..thanks those who spent time reading the blog..

good luck to everyone out there for year 2008. =)

Time to move on..my love for her now stands still..i just wish her happiness..

Like i've said it myself..loving someone doesnt mean to be with her..just make sure she's happy..especially during the time spent together..be it as a friend or couple.

everything is so wrong

just got home from work..quite a rough one tho..anyway..the day is ending soon..tomorrow will be better =)

2day i rejected meeting honey and Marv for dinner..feeling is so weird..absence makes the heart fonder..is that so? maybe..who knows?

she gave me the feeling that she don't bother about me anymore..maybe she got sick and tired of having different concepts between us..maybe it seems to her that i don't plan to heed her advices/suggestions..there's patience to every one's limit..i don't wish to hit her limit..maybe i should really stop trying to make her laugh..my jokes are too unnatural..

i wonder how easy can it be to stop thinking about her..even sms-ing Marv i can make a mistake and send the message to her..that just shows how much I've been thinking of her all this while..

i really love her too much..been overdoing everything..what should i do??
or should i just let it be..cause whatever i try to do just worsen everything..
I'm really lost..and I'm contradicting myself too..

should i still treat her as a gf or just a friend??or which one she want..